Wednesday, March 28, 2007

 

I’m off to Germany again tomorrow….

That of course, means that I’ve got to pass through the Airport Security Check.
I wonder what new indignities we’ll be subjected to this time.
I know the staff are only doing their job, but sometimes I wonder if the organisers of the system know what they are doing.

Normally I take two small purses full of change, one with English money for the journey to and from the aeroplane and one with European money for when I arrive in Germany.
Simple enough you’d think… but you’re be surprised how many security people seem to find this incomprehensible… my mind boggles!

The metal detector doorway is another hazard for the unwary… once on a trip to Israel, some 25 years ago; I forgot on the return journey, in Lod Airport, that I was wearing safety boots with concealed steel toe-caps. I got the shock of my life when, the damn thing went off like an air-raid siren and I was suddenly surrounded by armed men on instant alert.

Since then I’ve always tried to be careful… but the sensitivity of the screen seems to vary a lot from airport to airport… some are set so fine, they register the metal fillings in teeth, artificial joints and similar embarrassing situations…. A friend of mine with a metal plate in his skull, had to take his wig off, to convince the security guard.

Last time I was had to face yet another indignity… Once I’d gone through the X-ray machine and body search, re-threaded my belt through the loops of my trousers, replaced my waistcoat, coat and top-coat, and rescued by X-rayed items… I started to walk towards the Departure Lounge, only to find that my way was blocked by a special X-ray conveyor-belt for my shoes.
Unfortunately, when you get to my age, you find that your feet seem to be further away from fingertips than they used to be… So putting shoes on and off is a bit of a problem, without the aid of a chair and a shoe-horn… Nobody had thought to supply a few chairs and the floor around the machine was littered with lots of old folk struggling with their footwear.

And, while I think of it; don’t buy a bottle of water before you go through Security, as you’ll only have to throw it away and buy a replacement in the Departure Lounge for three times the price.


"Welcome to the British Airport Security System, have a Nice Day!"

"Thanks, I intend to!"

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